This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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