That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I am one with the molecules
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize