You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
