It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Randomize
