i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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