Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
