Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
