White coat. Heels.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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