why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Randomize
