Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize