Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
