You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Watching her eat just hurts me
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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