now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I'm like, not good at living.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Randomize