put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
