True but thats because hes a fetus.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
