I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
