I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Randomize
