the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
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