when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
