bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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