trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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