Your tits are I can't wait for
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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