i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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