you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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