D3 body, D1 cock
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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