it's like iHOP with fire
No more Irish car bombs ever.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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