batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
it hurts more in the daytime
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
did i walk over a car last night?
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Randomize
