I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Randomize
