So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
