I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I just gift wrapped bread.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I love you. Go after that dick
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
