Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
