I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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