I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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