The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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