Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
