I think scott just propositioned me for sex
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
