Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
