This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
