i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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