In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
