your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
How naked do you want me to be?
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