We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
