If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
