I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
