Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize
