I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Where is the hickey?
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
