Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
