I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
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