Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize