Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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