Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
there's paper in my vomit.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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