If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Randomize
