I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
God I need to hump something, right now.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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