Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Randomize
