You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Randomize
