On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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