Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
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