Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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