that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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