so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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