TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
