Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
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