I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Still dying that you shit outside
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize