I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
