two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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