So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Randomize
