That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize